Well, it’s that time of year when the most controversial and book burning program on television, Game of Thrones, is on hiatus. You might be wondering “What am I going to do on Sunday nights now?” That answer is quite simple. You must join the Army of Anger! We must begin rectifying the egregious errors that show runners David & Dan have committed against GRRM’s beloved novels! We must arm ourselves with THE KNOWLEDGE so that we may call out said book burners on their heinous mistakes.
One such mistake that is often seen online, in memes, in office spaces, grocery stores, orphanages, and mental asylums is the misuse of the word “warg.” Since Season 5 will likely feature Bran developing his abilities with the three-eyed CROW, it is best that we clear up the terms “warg” and “skinchanger” straight away, seeing as some people even having read the books still fail to understaaand.
A skinchanger is a person that is able to enter the mind of an animal and can control their actions. The most well-known skinchanger is our buddy Orell, the wildling, who used his eagle to claw Jon Snow’s face off.
Another yet to be seen in the gods-awful series, but in the prologue to A Dance with Dragons, Varamyr Sixskins, is able to slip into the minds of wolves, bears, and a shadow cat. There are rules to being a skinchanger as well. We learn of these rules from Varamyr. There are only three:
- The flesh of man must never be consumed while wearing the skin of an animal
- You must never mate as a wolf with another wolf
- You must never enter the body of another man
Being a skinchanger and a warg is not mutually exclusive. In fact, ALL wargs are skinchangers but not all skinchangers are wargs. How is this possible? How do we know this? Is it some made-up midichlorian bull-flappy that ruins yet another series? NO. His Grace, George I the Creator, is very specific:
“A warg is bound to a wolf. Skinchanger is a more general term. All wargs are skinchangers, but not all skinchangers are wargs.” – GRRM World Fantasy Con November 2007
This is why Bran, Arya and Jon are able to have “wolf dreams.” Again, if you read the books, you would have known that already. But maybe you didn’t. Maybe you’re lazy. Whatever your excuse is, they are bound to their wolves Summer, Nymeria and Ghost. Sansa would have been bound to Lady too, but, well, Valyrian steel. Varamyr knows that Jon is a skinchanger as soon as he sees Ghost lurking by his side and even remarks that he would have loved to take Ghost away from Jon. Bran is the most gifted however, being that he has slipped into Summer’s skin many times and also that of Hodor, he being of feeble mind regardless of what drivel lunacy is spewing out of Kristain Nairn’s mouth when he gives interviews. When Mance told Jon that Orell is a warg in the episode “Dark Wings, Dark Words” that was WRONG! Orell is NOT a warg. Bran does not “warg” into Hodor. Bran will never “warg” into a dragon or a bird or anything else for that matter. Being is warg is specific to wolves. The word ‘warg’ comes from the Norse word ‘vargr’ and literally means ‘WOLF.’ Fact.
Now that we have made undebatably clear the matter of warg vs skinchanger, it is imperative when you hear someone say “I can’t wait to see Bran warg into Hodor again!” you must correct their insanity! We must correct the mistakes that have been made by the book burners! After all, 3 of the most important characters in this series are wargs. It’s about time they receive the respect that they deserve!
NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAAAND?!
ANGRILY WRITTEN BY ARMY OF ANGER BANNERMAN LADY SHELLY @1CRAZYPATSFAN
SIDE NOTE: THE ASOIAF CARD GAME IS COMPLETELY CANONICAL!!!