SEASON 5 NEWS ROUNDUP ANGERING

Posted: July 16, 2014 in INDIRECT ANGER

6decc316eecd6581987754a03c529867

GREETING AND SALUTATORIANS ARMY OF ANGER!!!!!

TODAY I WRITE TO YOU FROM A NEW PRESPECTIVE SOMETHING ILLUSORY AND GRAND AND FAR BEYOND THE NORMAL CONFINES OF MY GENERAL MOTIF OF FRUSTRATION AND DISBELIEF REGARDING THE TELEVISED AND BROADCAST ABOMINATION KNOWN AS HBOS GAME OF THRONES

I AM AAANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF INFORMANCY AND REPORTING MY LITTLE BIRDS HAVE PROVISIONED REGARDING SEASON 5 IS WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!! SEASON 5 IS THE NEXT EXERCISE IN FAN FICTION FELONIOUSNESS AND FUTILITY OF WHILE IT WAS ONCE A COMEDIC KICK IN THE TROUSERS TO POINT OUT THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE SHOW AND THE MOST BLESSED OF BOOKS IT HAS NOW REACHED THE LEVEL OF THE DOOM OF VALYRIA OR THE HOLOCAUST!!!!

SEASON 5 WILL BE PURELY FAN FICTION!!! IT WILL INCLUDE NOTHING FROM THE BOOKS!!! NOTHING!!!! ONE SCENE AFTER ANOTHER OF PURE HIPPY DIPPY HAPPY HORSE CURMUDGEON UNTIL I SMASH MYSELF IN THE FACE WITH GREGORS STEEL GAUNTLETS AND PUT MYSELF OUT OF MY INSUFFERABLE MISERY!!!!!

HERE ARE SOME OF THE FACTS TRICKLING OUT BY HOOK AND BY CROOK OF SEASON 5 AND THEIR LATEST USURPATIONS

S04E04

JAIME AND CERSEI ARE TOGETHER!!! THIS ALONE HAS LEFT THE WALLS IN MY CORRUGATED METAL SHACK DENTED WITH ALL THE PLACES IVE SLAMMED MY FOREHEAD INTO THEM IN THE HOPES THE MEMORY WOULD BE ERASED!!! NO SUCH LUCK AS OF YET #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS

BRIENNE AND POD HAVE NO PLOT WHATSOEVER!!! THE KNOW LYSA IS DEAD AND THEY KNOW ARYA IS GONE!!! AT THIS POINT I WOULDNT BE SURPRISED IF BRIENNE DRESSES POD UP LIKE A GIRL AND GOES AROUND SAYING HE IS ARYA AND EVERYONE JUST BELIEVING HER LEADING TO ALL SORTS OF AWKWARD SITUATIONS IN THE BEDROOM!!!!! YOU KNOW HBO WOULD LOVE IT!!!!! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS

THERE WILL BE NEW DIRECTORS?! AS MUCH AS I AND EVEN UNWASHED HORDES OF BOOKBURNERS POINTED OUT THE MASSIVE DIRECTORIAL FAILURES OF SEASON 5 PARTICULARLY IN EDITING AND NARRATIVE PACING HOW IS THE ANSWER TO BRING IN COMPLETELY NEW DIRECTORS TO WORK WITH ALL THE SAME OLD EDITORS AND WRITERS THAT SCREWED IT UP IN THE FIRST PLACE?! ONCE AGAIN HBO JUMPS ALL OVER THE WRONG THING INSTEAD OF TRYING TO TELL A STORY!!!!!!! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS

MAGGY THE FROG? SERIOUSLY?! WE GET OUR FIRST FLASHBACK AND ITS MAGGY?! WHAT ABOUT THE TOWER OF JOY?!!!?!?!?!?!?!!?? WHAT ABOUT THE DEATH OF THE MAD KING?! THE DEATH OF RICKARD AND BRANDON WHICH WAS EVEN ALREADY FILMED?!?!?! EVEN AFTER THEY MADE SUCH VEHEMENT AND SENSELESS RANTING FOR YEARS ABOUT THEIR DECISION TO SHOW NO FLASHBACKS THEY TOTALLY CAPITULATE WHEN THEIR LACK OF STORYTELLING ABILITY MAKES THEM EAT THEIR WORDS?!?! I WILL MAKE THEM EAT WHATS LEFT OF THEIR SOULS!!!!!!! #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS

FINALLY THIS

ALADDIN OF DORNE

THANKS TO THE FACT THEY DECIDED TO CUT SO MUCH MATERIAL AND SO MANY CHARACTERS OUT OF THE BLESSED BOOKS RATHER THAN KEEP THEM AND TELL A FAITHFUL STORY AS PROMISED THE HBO WRITERS OF GAME OF THRONES HAVE NOW COMPLETELY AND DELIBERATELY RACED AHEAD TO THE POINT WHERE THEIR PARODY OF THE BOOKS IS ACTUALLY ENCROACHING INTO THE SPACE WHERE THE UNFINISHED BOOKS HAVE YET TO EXPLAIN!!! THEY KEPT SKIPPING AND CUTTING AND NIPPING AND BLASTING THEIR WAY THROUGH THE PLOT THAT THEY FORGOT TO WAIT TO LET THE BOOKS BE FINISHED?!?!? NO!!! THEY DID IT ON PURPOSE!!! WHY??!?! WHO KNOWS?!?!?!?!

CAN ANY SANE OR BRAIN HAVING PERSON ACTUALLY SAY IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE FOR TYRION TO KILL TYWIN BECAUSE OF HIS BETRAYAL AND DEFILING OF HIS ONE TRUE LOVE TYSHA?!?!!?!? IS THERE ANY SO FOOL HARDY BOYS ENOUGH TO TRY TO TELL ME IT WAS MORE EFFECTIVE TO SHOW A GREY WORM MISSY LOVE STORY THAN TO INCLUDE THE FULL WEEKLONG SIEGE OF THE WALL OR THE BATTLE OF STORMS END?!?!?! WHY DID WE NEED TWO YEARS OF CRASTERS KEEP!?!?!?!?! I CANT EVEN HEAR THE WORDS HOUSE OF THE UNDYING WITHOUT SCREAMCRYINGING FOR AN HOUR STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HERE I GO

flames_from_fire_wallpaper_2-other

(ONE HOUR LATER)

THAT WAS HORRIBLE SORRY WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT? OH YEAH! DEFILEMENT! SO AFTER USURPING THE BOOKS THEY FINALLY ARE AT THE POINT WHERE THEY NEED TO MAKE UP FILLER TO WAIT FOR HIS GRACE GRRM TO FINISH THE BOOKS! SO WHAT DO THEY DO? THEY ARE TURNING DORNE INTO THE STORY OF ALADDIN!!! COMPLETELY RIPPING OFF DISNEY!!! AND DONT TELL THE SUNNI INSURGENTS IN IRAQ ISIS ABOUT IT IM SURE THEYD NOT BE TOO HAPPY!!! HMMM THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA!!!!

S04E01

TERRORISTICAL HOMICIDE ASIDE THE WRITERS ARE SAYING THEY ARE INCREASING THE ROLE AND PLOTLINES OF DORNE FOR SEASON 5 TO INCLUDE A HUGE LOVE STORY BETWEEN TRYSTANE AND MYRCELLA!!!! JAIME IS GOING TO DORNE!!! BRONN IS GOING TO DORNE!!!! NOW THEY ARE SAYING THERE IS GOING TO BE A HUGE BATTLE IN DORNE TOO??!!?!? OH YES OF COURSE AFTER ALADDIN SINGS THE SONG AND FLIES JASMINE AROUND THE WORLD THEN JAFAR GETS GENIE POWERS AND THEY HAVE TO FIGHT HIM AND HE TURNS INTO A SNAKE AND IS ALL FIGHTING ABU AND IAGO IS THERE AS WELL AND FINALLY HE GETS TRICKED INTO SAYING HE WISHES TO BE A GENIE AND GETS TRAPPED IN A LAMP AND THEN ROBIN WILLIAMS DROPKICKS THAT LAMP ALL THE WAY TO JUMANJI THE END!!!!!

I WONDER HOW MUCH THEY ARE PAYING CONFUSEDGOTFAN TO BE HEAD WRITER OF THIS SEASON?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!!

THE ARMY OF ANGER SHALL NOT LET THIS COME TO PASS!!!!!

TELL THE WORLD!!!!

READ THE BOOKS!!!!
READ THE BOOKS!!!!
READ THE BOOKS!!!!

NO ONE UNDERSTAAANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Advertisements
Comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s