The Red Emmys

Posted: August 1, 2014 in INDIRECT ANGER

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(BY http://www.reddit.com/user/Blackwood_Raven WHO I AM SENDING SO MANY GOLDEN DRAGONS TO)

Aimee Richardson is presenting at the Emmy’s

”And the award for Best Writing goes to… David Benioff and Dan Weiss for ‘The Children!’”

D&D run to the stage laughing and high-fiving, doing finger guns at the other nominees The entire cast is in the audience applauding, Isaac is crying. Aimee hands the award to Dan. She looks sad as she steps away

David grabs the mic “Wow guys! Oh man, I gotta be honest, this does not come as a surprise, season four finale was definitely our strongest hour yet!”

Dan: “And it only gets better from here on out! Without giving anything away, we have a lot of surprises coming up – some that might even surprise the bookfreaks!”

David: “Jaime’s going where?!”

Everyone laughs except Stephen Dillane, he gets up and says he’s going for a piss

”Finally, we want to especially thank one writer without whom this show wouldn’t exist… Bryan Cogman, everybody”

Alex Graves leans over to Nikolaj Coster-Waldau “I don’t understand, it was the worst episode of the series, let alone the season. How did they win?”

Nikolaj slowly looks at him

Glances down at his arm

Graves follows his gaze. He pulls back Nikolaj’s sleeve. Nikolaj is wearing golden plate armor.

Graves slaps him, Nikolaj runs away “D&D!! RUN!!”

David looks at him, confused

Behind Oona, a shadow stalks out of the aisle

It’s Coldhands. He stabs her repeatedly in the stomach

Before David can react, an arrow hits him in the chest, he collapses

In the balconies, Vargo Hoat and the Brave Companions are shooting down at the stage

Every cut character rises from the audience and starts to murder the cast of Game of Thrones

Strong Belwas slits Emilia’s throat

Liam fights off Euron, Victarion and Aeron while they try to seize him

It’s a bloodbath

George RR Martin raises a hand, everyone stops.

Dan has an arrow through his throat. David crawls over to him

George laughs “Oh…the Fyre rises. Except you’re going to cut Aegon, aren’t you?” David cradles Dan as he dies. “Are you going to tell him Maester Aemon is coming? That was Jon’s line! Jon’s! He says it to Ygritte you fanfiction frolicking fairies!”

”ENOUGH” Alex Graves stumbles out of the audience “ENOUGH, GURM. LET HIM GO”

”And why would I do that?”

Graves pulls out a floppy disk “This contains The Winds of Winter. Everything you’ve written over the past three years. If you don’t let him go, I’ll destroy it. I’ll destroy the whole draft.”

Martin pauses.

”It’s only 168 pages. I’ll write another.”

David stands, turns to Graves. “Consensual…”

Before he can finish, Nikolaj steps in front of David

”Jaime Lannister sends his regards.”

He stabs David, David falls down dead

Graves howls and smashes the floppy disk

All the life drains out of him as he imagines all the characters Jaime was going to rape in Dorne

Lady Stoneheart slips up behind him and slits his throat

Credits

And who

for you

the Viper said

that I must say her name

only

a way

to refer to Cat

your sister means the same

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