5 Reasons Why Jaime Going to Dorne Sucks

Posted: August 11, 2014 in INDIRECT ANGER
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***HERE BE SPOILS***
by Lady Shelly

Once again the Army of Anger has been called upon to speak out against the atrocious and blasphemous fan fic created by HBO known as Game of Thrones. There’s been a lot of news surrounding season 5 and one particularly horrific rumor has been concerning the storyline of Jaime Lannister. This plot line makes ZERO sense and quite frankly, makes a mockery of GRRM’s work whilst insulting book readers. Let’s blow some holes in it, shall we?

1 – JAIME HAS NO REASON TO GO TO DORNE

According to multiple sources, Jaime is going to Dorne with Bronn at the bequest of Cersei to retrieve Myrcella. Cersei is afraid of what the Dornish may do in retaliation for Oberyn’s death. Its no secret that there’s no love lost between the Martells and Lannisters after the deaths of Elia, Rhaenys and Aegon. The Martells hold the Lannisters responsible for the death of Elia and her children, however, a peace was made and further smoothed over with the betrothal of Myrcella to Trystane. In truth, Myrcella is in no danger in Dorne and Cersei could easily have just ASKED Doran to send the children to King’s Landing instead. As Oberyn even told Cersei,”We don’t hurt little girls in Dorne.”

2 – BRONN HAS NO REASON TO GO TO DORNE WITH JAIME

Now let’s talk about Bronn. For some reason unbeknownst to me, HBO decided to make Jaime & Bronn buddies. The loyal book readers know that Jaime used Ser Ilyn Payne to spar with as he had no tongue and would not go around blabbing his mouth about how Jaime was basically useless with a sword now.  Furthermore,  Bronn is married  to the dimwitted Lollys Stokeworth and has ulterior motives in concerns her, but no spoils! Bronn & Jaime just make no sense as companions.

3 – JAIME WOULDNT ONLY GO TO DORNE WITH BRONN

And wouldn’t you think the Commander of the Kingsguard would travel to Dorne with a bigger outfit? An entire company? Afterall, he IS a Lannister and very valuable captive. They showed Arys Oakheart in Season Two going with Myrcella – is he just written out now?!

4 – JAIME VS THE SAND SNAKES IS POINTLESS

Its also been rumored that on the way there Jaime is to encounter a Sand Snake and engages in some sort of skirmish. You must be thinking “Oh wow the big battle we’ve heard about with Obara!!” Uh, no. Supposedly its TYENE. Know why this is so ridiculous?  Because Tyene’s weapon of choice is POISON. Not fighting! Areo Hotah remarks that ‘her soft pale hands were as deadly as Obara’s calloused ones, if not more so.’ What’s she gonna do? Drop Tears of Lys in his wine & give him diarrhea?  Please. This is insane.

5 – JAIME GETTING OBERYNS SLOPPY SECONDS

There’s also been pics circulating of Jaime being in close proximity to Ellaria Sand. Many are suggesting that ELLARIA is going to take the place of Arianne and set certain events in motion that directly affect the Iron Throne and that’s ridiculous as well. Ellaria wants no vengeance against the Throne for Oberyn. She is worried about the safety of her children (the 4 little Sand Snakes. NO, SHE IS NOT THE MOTHER OF OBARA,  TYENE AND LADY NYM AS HBO MAY MAKE YOU THINK!!!!!)…… Sorry, I had a rage moment.

WHY HAVENT YOU READ THE BOOKS ALREADY?!?!

By the Lady Shelly

@1CrazyPatsFan

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Comments
  1. Mike Pride says:

    I have read all the books, and I look them too…but I don’t get all the angst about the changes for the Show. In there History of Television there has never been a Movie that keeps everything the same as the book. It has NEVER happened ever. The whole point is to make a great movie…not to requote the books. I love the books, and I love the story, but maybe that was because I had no pre conceived notion that they would be the same. True Blood, Lord Of the Rings, The Great Gastsby….I can go on and on. The books are the books…the series is the series.

  2. OH MY SEVEN GODS YOU KNOW SOMETHING I NEVER LOOKED AT IT THAT WAY UNTIL YOUR COMMENT JUST NOW YOU REALLY HELPED ME SEE THE LIGHT HERE LET ME JUST DELETE MY ENTIRE WEBSITE

  3. Fred says:

    This Mike Pride guy is one of the worst people in the world. I hope he dies.

  4. BostonJohn says:

    I love Lady Shelly.

  5. You think you’re book “purists” but you’re just a bunch of a**holes

    • Lady Shelly says:

      Aw Jonas. I’m so sorry that neither of us like your snarky comments so we had to block you. But keep on making those accounts to follow us anyways 🙂

  6. […] THE DUMBEST THING IVE EVER HEARD SINCE I HEARD THE WORD DUMB READ MORE HERE DROGON SMILING AT HIS MOMMY!??!!? WHAT DOES HE THINK HE IS TOOTHLESS WITH HICCUP?!!?!? THE HEIR TO […]

  7. John says:

    Sand snake fight was trash. I was embarrassed to watch it.

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