5 REASONS ARYAS BRAAVOS PLOT IS RUINED

Posted: September 3, 2014 in INDIRECT ANGER

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IF YOU THINK THERE COULD BE AN ARTICLE LIKE THIS WITHOUT SPOILERS THAN YOU ARE A STUPID IDIOT AND PROBABLY SHOULDNT BE INVOLVED IN A SERIES LIKE THIS TO BEGIN WITH MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET INTO SOME LIGHTER FAIRE LIKE THE LITTLEST ELF OR THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD OR LITTLE HARRY CAKESNIFFING POTTER THEN WE WILL ALL BE A LOT HAPPIER AND I WILL NOT HAVE TO WASTE MY TIME TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW STUPID YOU ARE OK THATS ENOUGH I WILL NOW END THIS SPOILER ALERT FOR STUPID IDIOTS

THIS IS ALL BASED ON THE LATEST CAST AND SET REPORTING FROM WATCHERSONTHEWALL.COM

 

5 – NO KINDLY MAN?!

250px-Kindly_Man_TheMico

FIRST OF ALL LETS START WITH THE FACT THAT THE KINDLY MAN HAS BEEN MERCILESSLY ANNIHILATED FROM THE PLOT OF THE SHOW HOW CAN THIS BE!!?!?!? FIND ME ANYONE WHO HAS PROBLEMS WITH A FEAST FOR CROWS AND THEY ARE ALL WRONG BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM STILL ANYWAY FIND ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE AND HAVE THEM TELL YOU OH YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY DIDNT LIKE THE KINDLY MAN WHO SEEMED LIKE HE COULD CHANGE APPEARANCE AT WILL AND HAD A WORM STICKING OUT OF HIS SKULL-EYE!!!!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING ANYMORE?!?! THATS ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING FANTASY-LIKE CHARACTERS HIS GRACE GRRM WROTE INTO THE SERIES BUT INSTEAD OF KEEPING WITH THE SLOW INTRODUCTION OF MAGIC INTO THE STORY INSTEAD D&D HAVE DECIDED TO ABOLISH ARYAS AMAZING MYSTERIOUS STRICT INSTRUCTOR AND THE INCREDIBLE RELATIONSHIP THE PAIR OF THEM HAD AS THE WISENED TEACHER AND IMPATIENT APPRENTICE BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE CANT HAVE THAT ON TV!!! INSTEAD WE GET…

4 – JAQEN H’GHAR?!

350px-Jaqen_Wagon

FACELESS MEN! FACELESS! MEN! LET ME BREAK THAT DOWN FOR YOU FACELESS MEN IN THE COMMON TONGUE MEANS MEN WHO ARE WITHOUT FACES!!!!!!!!! NOT ONLY ARE D&D REPLACING THE KINDLY MAN WITH JAQEN H’GHAR BUT THEY CAST HIM AS THE SAME ACTOR AS SEASON 2!!!! WHY WOULD A FACELESS ASSASSIN RUN BACK TO HIS HOME AND USE THE SAME FACE HE WAS USING BACK IN THE SEVEN KINGDOMS ON A MISSION!?!?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!!! HE KNOWS THE LANNISTERS ARE IN CONTROL OF THE THRONE RIGHT NOW AND GEE DO YOU THINK THEY JUST MAAAAAAAAAYBE WOULD BE LOOKING FOR A GUY WHO KILLED ALL THEIR GUARDS AND HELPED RESCUE PRISONERS FROM LANNISTER CUSTODY?! THEY HAVE SPIES AND CATSPAWS ALL OVER THE FREE CITIES!!!!! CATSPAWS!!!!!!!!!! USELESS AS NIPPLES ON A BREASTPLATE!!!!!!!!!!! IT COMPLETELY UNDERMINES AND RUINS THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF THE FACELESS MEN AND MAKES THEM LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF SNIVELING FOOLS NOT FIT TO CLEAN THE PLUMBING AT CASTERLY ROCK!!!! WHAT ABOUT JAQENS OTHER FAR MORE IMPORTANT AND ACTUAL PLOT?!?!?!!? NO ONE UNDERSTAAANDS!!!!!!

3 – WOLF DREAMS?!

nymeria-game-of-thronesbadass-arya-stark-and-nymeria-fan-art-by-game-of-thrones-fan-art-mfah1fm7AGAIN THIS SHOW HAS GONE FOUR YEARS ALREADY WITH REFUSING TO SHOW A SINGLE WOLF DREAM FROM ANY OF THE STARK CHILDREN OTHER THAN BRAN! DO SHOW WATCHING BOOKBURNERS EVEN KNOW ARYAS WOLFS NAME?!?!?! THE STARK CHILDREN ARE ALL WARGS! BRAN IS EVEN A SKINCHANGER! AND ONE OF THE BIGGEST SCENES IN A FEAST FOR CROWS IS DURING ARYAS PLOT WHEN HIS GRACE GRRM REVEALS THAT SHE TO HAS THE POWER OF SKINCHANGING!!!!! IS THAT GOING TO BE IN THE SHOW?! PROBABLY NOT!! HOW IS IT GOING TO MAKE ANY SENSE?! I HAVE NO IDEA!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA EITHER AND DONT TRY TO TELL ME YOU DO OR I WILL STOP YOU! ARYA IS A SKINCHANGER IN THE BOOKS AND NOW ON TV SHE IS NOTHING!! WHY WOULD THEY CHANGE THIS?! NO ONE UNDERSTAAANDS!!!!

2 – INSTANT ASSASSIN?!

MaceMerynIN THE BOOK ITS CLEARLY AND PLAINLY STATED THAT ARYAS TRAINING TAKES PLACE OVER THE COURSE OF SEVERAL MONTHS!!! IF NOT MORE!!! SHE IS SENT OUT INTO BRAAVOS AS CAT OF THE CANALS AND ONLY RETURNS TO THE HOUSE OF BLACK AND WHITE DURING THE THREE DAYS OF THE BLACK MOONS!!! DID YOU PEOPLE FORGET THAT?!?!!? EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE ONLY 4 CHAPTERS FEATURING HER IN FEAST AND 2 IN DANCE AND THEN 1 THATS BEEN RELEASED FROM WINDS IT DOESNT MATTER YOU CAN SQUEEZE AND TRIM AND CUT AND CRAM ALL THAT MUCH PLOT INTO A SINGLE SEASON WHERE ARYA IS FIGHTING FOR SCREENTIME AGAINST ALL THE OTHER REAL CHARACTERS AND PLOTS AND WHATEVER TALSIA GREYMISSY DWARF-FIGHTING THEON TORTURE PORN INSANITY THE ARE GOING TO THRUST UPON US NEXT SEASON!!!! ARYA CANNOT GO STRAIGHT FROM SETTING FOOT IN BRAAVOS TO BECOMING MERCY IN 60 MINUTES OF SCREEN TIME AND YES I WILL BE COUNTING YOU FOOLS!!!!! ARYAS CHARACTER ARC IS RUINED AND YOU HAVE DEFILED ARYA THERE I SAID WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WAS TOO AFRAID TO SAY

1 – BETH THE BLIND GIRL

300px-Thaldir_the_Blind_GirlONE OF THE MOST JARRING AND IMPORTANT SEQUENCES FOR ARYA IS WHEN SHE BECOMES BETH THE BLIND GIRL ITS SO IMPORTANT THAT LOOK IF YOU CAN COUNT AND REALIZE I WROTE THIS ARTICLE IN ASCENDING ORDER WHICH HERE MEANS FROM SIGNIFICANT TO VERY SIGNIFICANT SUPER DUPER IM GOING TO COMMIT ACTUAL MURDER SIGNIFICANT AND YOU CAN SEE THAT THIS ONE IS THE HIGHEST ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN WHY!!!!!! STRIPPED OF HER POSSESSIONS HER FAMILY HER LINEAGE ARYA IS STILL UNABLE TO LOSE HERSELF IN HER ANYA OF HER NEW IDENTITIES AND AS THE NEXT STEP IN HER TRAINING THE KINDLY MAN STRIPS HER OF HER ABILITY TO SEE! THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST GRUELING TESTS ARYA MUST ENDURE AND IT IS THROUGH THIS TEST THAT SHE FINALLY REALIZES HER SKINCHANGING ABILITY AND IS ABLE TO SKINCHANGE INTO A CAT SOMETHING THAT HIS GRACE GRRM HAS BEEN FORESHADOWING SINCE LITERALLY THE FIRST BOOK!!! THROUGH HIS DRAMATIC METHODS THE KINDLY MAN WAS ABLE TO ALLOW ARYA TO OVERCOME HER INSECURITIES AND IT IS THROUGH BLIND BEGGING THROUGH THE STREETS OF BRAAVOS AND FIGHTING WITH THE ACOLYTE AND PLAYING THE LYING GAME WITH THE WAIF WITHOUT SEEING HER ALLOWS HER TO LEARN TO HEAR LYING IS ANY OF THIS GOING TO BE IN THE SHOW!?!!?!?!?!?!? OF COURSE NOT THEY ARE CUTTING ALL OF THIS DRAMATIC CHARACTER BUILDING AND DRAMA TO SIMPLY GET TO THE FIGHTING AND KILLING!! IN STAR WARS TERMS THIS IS LIKE HOW THE PREQUELS NEVER HAD ANY SCENE LIKE LUKE ENTERING THE DARK CAVE!!!!

K. Gomilica, 02.09.2014 - Snimanje popularne serije Igre Prijestolja

BRAAVOS!! REMEMBER YOUR FAILURE AT BRAAVOS!!!!!!!

BUT THEY WONT

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Comments
  1. Angel says:

    Pretty sure we’re getting Cat of the Cannals. Arya has been shouting “oysters, clams, cockles” while filming. The only thing I didn’t like is that she should be shouting those lines in Braavosi :p

    • DID YOU EVEN READ THE ESSAY?!?

    • thatdudesonny says:

      Her selling shit on the docks just means she might change her name and find a means of survival, but if they strip out the training and all the characters that go along with that training, Arya calling herself Cat of the Canals and selling oysters is only gift wrapping for a shitty present no one that has read the series and loved that plotline actually wanted.

      There were changes in this series since the beginning, but had I known they were going to go full fanfic I wouldn’t have wasted my time or at least I would have known what to expect going in. Stupid bullshit. D&D should have just gotten an account at AO3 and wrote shitty fanfic like everyone else.

  2. You seem surprisingly chill about the whole thing…

  3. Of course, once they have ruined Arya, they will proceed to whoever else is even remotely close to the original story.Perhaps Tyrion will turn up at the wall, or Dany will desperately ear a dragon, due to starvation. Who knows at this point.

  4. It doesn’t bugger me if Jaquen replaces The Kindly Man. And I can see why: they don’t want to introduce new characters if they can use the old ones. Just chill CrazyGoTFan, you’re just a mad man who knows nothing.

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