THE SECRET RECORDINGS OF D&D (PART TWO)

Posted: September 8, 2014 in INDIRECT ANGER

THE BOOK BURNER TAPES (PART TWO)

     USA - Politics - Richard Nixon Presidential Library And Museum These tapes are audio recordings of behind the scenes at Game of Thrones 

filming throughout Europe. They again were obtained by covert operatives who
currently have behind the scenes access for production of the vile series,
“Game of Thrones.”

The operatives are key intelligence members of the Army of Anger Intelligence
Division led by the Master of Whispers.

They were taken from August 21, 2014 through September 5, 2014.

ICELAND PRODUCTION

D.B. Weiss = DAN
David Benioff = DAVE
Kit Harington = KH
Carice Van Houten = CVH
Stephen Dillane = SD
Jerome Flynn = JF

BenioffWeiss04

August 27, 2014 at 6:00 AM GMT

DAN-Rise and shine, we are early getting ready for today’s shoot today we will
film the scene where Jon Snow rides a dead elk into battle vs. the White
Walkers.The White Walkers are attacking the Wall, it is a full onslaught and we
need KH to be ready to ride The Elk into battle.

S04E04W

DAVE—Yes, we must make sure that the CGI effects that are added later look
really smooth when KH jumps off The Elk and starts slinging firebombs at the
White Walkers.

KH—My hair, will my hair look good?

DAN—Your hair will look great . . .

jon-snow-hair-blowing

KH—The ladies, you know, they love to see my hair. They love it, I love it, I
really can’t act well so I have to have my hair looking good, you know?

DAVE—Stop being a diva, your hair will be fine.

3250758-3321074645-Stann

SD-What will I be doing?

DAN-Its this amazing scene Dave and I have written. So emotional. You will die
by slipping on a banana peel. This is your Emmy year.

SD—Really? You have me taking on the Lannisters without a helm, then you have
me saving the Night’s Watch but now I die by a banana peel?

DAVE-We hate Stannis, and because you are playing him, we hate you.

SD—This is stupid.

DAN—What did you say? Do you want to go back to doing whatever you were doing?
Some boring foreign films that no one cared about? Shut up and know your place.

SD-Stannis does not bend.

DAVE-Go away, we don’ t need your lame acting anyway.

SD—(Storms back in) What did you say, coward? (struggle noises, shouting)

KH—My hair!!!!! Stop it!!! My Hair!!!!! You guys stop this, Stephen let go of
Dave! He’s turning purple.

SD-I’m not dying this season, I’ll die in the cold like I do in the books. I
will die a warrior.

DAVE—(breathing heavily) I was wrong, I’m all right…

Jerome

JF-Is this where I say a snarky line?

melisandrebath

CVH-(walking in)

JF-Good Morning!!!

DAN—Why are you naked? You aren’t filming until later…

CVH—Since I am naked in every episode, I just got used to it

DAVE—Put some clothes on…

CVH—(walks out)

CVH—(walking in) I want to do some singing this year, “You see the snow, you
see the flakes, you see the cold you see the lakes, sireennn by the seaaaaa”

JF-My goodness, my ears! You’re singing may be the Horn of Winter…and bring
down the Wall!

DAVE—Excellent!!! We will have Melisandre Sing!!!!! Great!!!!! She will bring
down the Wall with her horrible singing!!! The show writes itself!!! Who needs
those stupid books?!

CVH, KH, JF (In Unison)—Books? What Books?

DAN—Meeting over, see you later, Dave and I have something to discuss and we
will see you on set.

DAVE-Now we are alone, I need to tell you that GRRM is upset with the direction
of the show.

DAN—Who cares? I don’t, he’s rich, and he should do some pushups, eat a paleo
diet and not worry about our show. Our show is much better than those boring
books that don’t even have pictures.

DAVE-Amen, we are going to spoil some things for the book readers, they will
hate us but again, they are losers, and they watch the show.

DAN—What about this, “Army of Anger?” The spies, the leaks, the Lord of Rage he
calls himself. This website, they don’t have a lot of folks like Elio and
Linda, or Johnny’s website but they have a few overzealous people and they’re
militants like ISIS…I’m scared that they may encourage people to read the
books and become like those who stand against us…folks who read the books,
folks who can think for themselves folks who realize the truth!

DAVE—What truth? We are atheistic radicals, we hate truth, and the only truth
is what we make it. We make it that there are no books, there is no GRRM, there
is nothing but what you and I say it is! We will finish this series, we will be
rich, and WE will be remembered! Not GRRM, not the book readers, not this Army
of Folly! What losers! . .. I mean . . .. they don’t scare me . . . not at
all…

DAN—Be careful, The books are the enemy, The books are the enemy, The Books are
The Enemy.

DAVE—Yes! ..time to get to work, that fireball scene with Kit is going to look
great, him taking on the Great Other aka The Night’s King with fireballs out of
Bran’s dead body…And don’t forget Van Houten singing to break the Wall…her
voice is…

DAN—She looks great naked, and she is a decent actress, but her singing, man
it’s awful.

DAVE—She’d go Stephen on you if she heard you say that, she would…

DAN—Stephen, I am glad we are killing him off. Not a moment too soon. No one
touches us…

DAVE—I love you Dan, you are like the brother I never had . .

DAN—I love you too Dave

DAVE—You better, or I will crush you . . . . . I am the leader, I am David
Benioff, I am tall, good looking, and I am the face and mouth of this project.

DAN—Yes, my lord, you are (kneeling) You are My Liege Lord . . .

DAVE—Good, let’s get to work, (expletive) these mediocre actors and (expletive)
GRRM and (expletive) the book readers and (expletive) the books!!!!!

BenioffWeiss04

DAVE AND DAN IN UNISON—AND NO HODOR!!!!!!

Recording ends

RECORDING II, SEPTEMBER 5, 2014 at 1600 hours GMT SHOOTING FOR DORNISH SCENES

N. Coster Waldau = NCW

Jerome Flynn = JF

Michelle Fairley = MF

Malaise Williams = MW

DAVE-We have a phone call from MW, she’s excited about her scenes in Braavos
where she is going to be skate boarding around the city.

MW2

MW—Thanks’ for me board . . me board is going to go well, I like the idea . ..
listen one thing guys, what happened to my guns?

DAN—The executive diced it. They didn’t want any post medieval firearms, he
wanted to make sure it looked authentic, so back to poisons, blades, things
like that . . sorry no guns.

MW—But you promised me!! I want a gun nowwwwwwww!!! Give me, me guns, me guns,
me guns!

DAVE—No, and the term, is “My” not “Me” . . yesh…you people invented the
language then forgot how to speak it

MW– No guns? But at least I like the scene where I join with Tyrion and Ser
Jorah on motorcycles

DAVE— That is going to shock those book (expletive) readers . . . . they are
going to be stunned! You are heading west to meet Dany! Yes!!!!

MW—Cool, see you later! I’m going to kill Dany and fly a dragon!!!! Ride a
Dragon!!! Yipee!!!!!

DAN-Bye, I love her . . she’s a great actress . . .

DAVE—Yes, she’s good. And so mature.

S04E04

NKW (walks in)—Guys, can we discuss this scene where I get killed? Killed by
Darkhorse?????

DAn—Dark Star, Ser Arthur Dayne…that’s his name right??? The name of his
sword is moon beam, moon doggie, bright light, day star, sun star, something
stupid that GRRM named it .. it doesn’t matter we do what we want.

DAVE– No, Gerald, Gerold, Goffrey, Gerry Dayne he kills you when you leap
from your horse Pegasus to fight him . . to defend Myrcella from his army in
the Boneway Pass or something . .

NKW—Well, we all gotta die sometime on this show, I enjoyed my scenes with
Lena, when I wasn’t being portrayed as a…

DAN—Don’t say it. We didn’t win the Emmy because that scene.

DAVE—Yep, we were told by our friends that that scene cost us that trophy and
the money and superpowers that we get with it. Now Bryan Cranston has them all
and can never die. Sad really, the director, he got kicked off of the
production team, he’s never filming for our show again. We personally told him
never to come back. He stunk as a director for our series, he’s a good dude but
he really ruined that scene, other scenes and GRRM wasn’t happy, the network
who signs our paychecks wasn’t happy, neither were many of the women in power
in our industry were not happy and we will not have that again.

NKW– I still have people calling me names, it makes me cry (crying hard)
please hold me Dan, hold me, little weasel-looking man, hold me and let me know
I am beautiful…

DAN—You will be fine, you got to hang out with Kate Upton in that movie, yes…
you are cool.

NKW—Good point I want to call her and tell her how beautiful I am, see you
later (walks out)

JF- Now, aren’t I supposed to be with some half wit fat chick and living the
life of a lord, why am I here on a rowboat with Nick?

DAVE-We need you, you bring ratings, you can act, and you make our bad writing
seem better than it is, we need you on screen to keep the show going, We need
you to keep us rich.

JF—Okay, do I get more scenes with naked chicks?

DAVE—Yes, we are known for naked chicks and blood, not quality writing, quality
directing, proper doctrinal translation of the books, yep, that is it.

JF—Okay, see you then. I gotta take a piss. (walks out)

act4_zps80a493bd

(Phone call from MF)

MF—Yes Dave and Dan, I need to know why Stoneheart was cut out, you really did
me wrong.

BenioffAngry

DAVE—Shut up, go act on something, you were an awful Catelyn Stark, you made a
passionate woman seem like a wuss. You ruined her role. No Stoneheart. That is
in the books and we hate the books.

MF—I was in Harry (explitive) Potter! It was your writing, your directing and
if I was there right now I would kick your-

DAVE—(hangs up) (inaudible)

DAN—(Inaudible)

DAVE-Yes, she is a good actress, we don’t know what we are doing, we are
messing things up but who cares? We are rich! Have I mentioned that?

DAN—That’s right, who needs books, we are RICH, we are almost done and in a few
years we will take a yacht around the world, with our wives and pets and we
will set back on the pile of money.

DAVE—Bigger than GRRM, Bigger than any God, Dave and Dan forever . . .

BenioffWeiss04

(DAVE AND DAN BEGIN TO SING FOREVER BY DRAKE)

RECORDING TERMINATED

Transcribed by Servant On Ice,

Book Reader since 2011

Advertisements
Comments
  1. AeroDoe says:

    You write dialogue far better than D&D. Really very funny!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s