BARN STORMER – AN ANGRYGOTFAN EPIC FANFIC

Posted: November 22, 2014 in INDIRECT ANGER

BARN STORMER

An Army of Anger Story

by Servant On Ice

CHARACTERS

Rageton aka The Lord of Anger

Horacina, the Lady of Anger

Shelna, The Scribe of Anger

Mitsu, The Keeper of the Well of Artos

Summer San, Lady of Light

and other characters .

CHAPTER I THE HEATHEN RAGE

Sitting in his solar, over looking the red mountains of Soros, The Lord of Anger is perplexed, he has been having nightmares, nightmares that won’t go away on their own ..

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RAGETON: They won’t stop, I can’t stop seeing the images in my head, I can’t sleep at all.

HORACINA: What plagues thee so harsh my sweet love?

RAGETON: Oh, cut the crap, bring me some flavored wine, to help me sleep. I need to rest, I am sore in my soul, sore in my mind, sore in all the things that matter . .

HORACINA: Hmm you always complain, why do you need to be soothed? It seems soothing leads t nothing but the lack of complaint, something you are so adept at?

RAGETON: BE GONE WOMAN!!!! NO ON UNNDERSTANNNNDSssssss!!!

HORACINA: See you later, My Thoughts and Actions.

RAGETON: Hmm, some mead, some ale, nothing . . nothing, NOTHING!!!

SERVANT: Why are you shouting My Holiness?

RAGETON: Because I am tormented by dreams . .

SERVANT: Why my Holiness? Why don’t you seek to the wise men or wise women to help thee?

RAGETON: I have, do you know of any that lie outside my realm?

SERVANT: I know plenty, they live in the Tall Grasses, to the south east of here, warm and muggy that is what the air is like, but they can help you and your dreams and bring peace to thee My Holiness.

RAGETON: Will they UNDERSTANNNNND???

SERVANT: Yes My Holiness, they will understand and heal thee.

RAGETON: Good, I will assemble and order riders to go, go get Lord Morelle, commander of my personal Guard.

SERVANT: Yes, My Holiness

LORD MORELLE: Hello My Holiness, what do thy need?

RAGETON: I need thee to go on a mission to the Tall Grasses and find me wise people to help me from my nightmares.

LORD MORELLE: I will do it, but it is a hot and dangerous place, how many folks?

RAGETON: Send 20 with provisions and fast horses, if it goes wrong, I don’t want the loss on my hands.

LORD MORELLE: I shall send those good enough to accomplish the deed, but not crucial so if they fail, we shall sorely miss them.

RAGETON: Good, be done, be gone, I am going to try to nap again.

CHORUS: Dream Oh Ruler, Dream On, but the nightmares come and they will stay long, until your heart is right in the sight of the Gods of the Universe.

So the raged and didn’t sleep, not even a quick nap . .

CHAPTER II OUT ON OUR OWN

LORD MORELLE: So Shelna, I am sending you and 19 armed men to help thee. They all have beards and firm abs . .


Shelna

SHELNA: What a joke!!! Is this some sick jape? I don’t want to go that sweltering hole of all ten hells and end up mosquito food.

LORD MORELLE: Do it are be forced to work in the Estate Sewers . . .

SHELNA: I shall, I shall, will it be with boat or will it be on horse?

LORD MORELLE: Boat to Pinksland and then on foot from their port.

SHELNA: Why send me?

LORD MORELLE: You are a trust and wise Scribe, you keep His Holiness’ records, he needs you.

SHELNA: So I am expendable but capable? I see, let’s go dudes and keep your hands to yourself.

CHORUS: Speed on Shelna, Speed on!!!!!!!

So Shelna left, she went down on the crusty boat with 19 bearded Knights with firm stomachs and big muscles, they were handsome men, but they dared not touch or offend His Holiness’ scribe, or they would tossed in the acid pits, alive.

The boat moved on the water, a smooth sailing. They took on the provisions at Pinksland and headed south and east until they came to the great River of Grass and followed the tall green blades, twice to three times the height of her tallest Guardsmen, into the land where she finally met two travelers.

SINA: Where be thou a going? To doom or to doom and a kiss?

SINE: Hmm maybe she be going to kiss and a doom?

SHELNA: I am headed to find wise people to help my Holiness, he has nightmares.

SINA: A god with nightmares? What a weak god!

SHELNA: No, our Ruler, our High Lord, our King!

SINE: We have no kings or lords here, just those who take, and take and give, give and take, if you seek wisdom find Artos, Artos has a well enter therein and know the others . .

SINA: What about, “Know thyself?”

SINE: That is that boring mythology from Greece, that’s not in this story, this story is cool.

SINA: Right be on, and be gone!!!

They both left and she made her way to Artos . .

CHAPTER III THE LADY OF ARTOS

Farm

So after three days on the road, she finally found Artos. A small farm, with a huge marble well, green marble, about the size of 10 cows, it was unique and the water in it appeared black, at first empty on sight, but full.

SHELNA: Hey is anyone here? Helllllllllllllllllloooo, I have gold, diamonds, and silver?

SUMMER SAN: Those things are not valuable to me, I need nothing from you and want nothing.

SHELNA: Where did you come from? (Appeared a slender woman, with brown eyes, brown hair, wearing robes of orange and red silk)

SUMMER SAN: I have power, that is where I come from, I know why you are here, you are here to help Rageton’s nightmares cease.

SHELNA: Yes, I am . .

SUMMER SAN: His nightmares will end when the . .truth begins . ..

SHELNA: What truth?

SUMMER SAN: The Barn Stormer . . . go to the Barn back in Pinksland and find him, a fat black man, with a goatee and brown eyes and black hair . .he knows what troubles your Master . .

SHELNA: What do I owe you? You are so beautiful . . can I kiss you?

SUMMER SAN: (blows a kiss at one of Shelna’s Guardsmen and the Guardsman turns into a blade of green grass) There it has been paid, atonement has been met. He was meant to harm you, . .he is gone, here he is among the grass . . .. .

SHELNA: Wow, gone like that, grass and . .wow she’s gone . . . . the farm is gone . . the well is gone . . . only the grass is around us, let’s make our way back . .

CHORUS: Dream Shelna, Dream!! Summer San appears in your sleep, telling you the Barn, the Barn, the Barn!!!!!!

Shelna made it back to Pinksland and found the old barn there she found him . .

Heimdell

MITSU: Hello there Shelna, I am keeper of the Well of Artos, I assist Summer San, she is the Lady of Light and Supernatural power . . all you saw were her illusions, that is her power . . . and you are here to learn about the nightmares?

SHELNA: Yes, it is hot and humid and these bugs are awful tell me about the nightmares.

MITSU: I will tell your King for myself . . let’s go . . . .

CHAPTER IV TRUTH TO SLEEP ON

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So they journeyed on . . until the Estate of House Flames, Rageton Flames, the Lord of Anger, King of Anger, the Grand Master, His Holiness .

RAGETON: So you fat man, have you eaten well, it seems so!

MITSU: Hello, M’lord of what are you again, rage?

RAGETON: I am the Lord of Anger!!!!!!!!!!

MITSU: Hmmm, I have the answer to you, I will tell you your dream. You are having nightmares as you read GRRM’s sacred texts, you see the face of the chief book burner looking back at you, Benjoff. That man, that monster that traitor who is doomed to die if he ever enters your realm.

RAGETON: FINALLY, YOU UNDERSTANNNNNDSSSS!!!!

MITSU: Yes, I do comprehend, I am here to say what it means, when you were young it was rumored that your father was not your biological father, and it was true. Benjoff is your true father, he abandoned you at a young age, you were born in wedlock, so you are no bastard, you are of royal blood to rule this realm to rule any realm, the Book Burner is your father . .

RAGETON: The Chief Villain . . . . the father of the true hero? What kind of lame story is that?

MITSU: Your story . . so what will you do?

RAGETON: I feel like grabbing some needles and putting out my eyes and living out my days in exile!!!!!!!

SUMMER SAN: Don’t . . . I appeared here to tell you don’t . .after long winters, summers do come and they come bitter sweet . . .. GRRM hasn’t finished his books . . you need your eyes to read them . . The books are better than your Book burner father .

CHORUS: The Books, The books, read the books!!!!!

RAGETON: I shall not punish my self!!!!! Scribe, Shelna come hither.

SHELNA: Yes My Holiness . . .

RAGETON: You are promoted to Lady of Records, your wages doubled and bearded studs shall be sent to your room at they whim . . .

SHELNA: Thank you, My Holiness!!!!

HORACINA: Good, what do I get for putting up with months of sleepless nights and your whining?

RAGETON: To produce and heir, and her of anger and autographed copies of the books!!!!!!

HORACINA: Yipee (eyes rolling).

RAGETON: I still hate my natural father’s mummer’s show that teaches the world lies about the books, I must tell the the truth!!!!

ALL TOGETHER: A song comes on . . . . . . ( to the beat of Safety Dance by Men Without Hats)

R

E

A

D

You can read if you want to,

You can leave that show behind,

You can open up books and stop watching blood and boobs,

and leaves your cares behind

(sing)

You can read, You can read, You can read in your soul,

You can read, You can read, they’re even doing it in the north pole!!

Heyyy, Read the books, heyyy Read the books, read the books!!!

THE END

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