Archive for December, 2014

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Another year arrives and we are left to ponder what wondrous changes our lord and saviors, David and Dan, will make to our favorite tv show. Will they remove a fan favorite, kill off characters who are otherwise alive in the book series, or implement their own fan fiction? Only R’hllor can tell, so let me look into the fire and give you the 15 things that WILL happen this upcoming season 5 of Game of Thrones.

1. Sansa, after turning to the dark side, perfects winged eyeliner, becomes the first Sith Lord, and murders Lord Baelish with the force.
2. Jon Snow loses all his hair due to stress and spends the entire season trying on wigs.
3. The Lannisters cosplay as RobbWind at Tommen’s wedding, confirming that there are really Furries in Westeros.
4. Brienne and Pod’s Excellent Adventure continues with them confronting their biggest threat yet……sexual tension.
5. Dany stares at the camera as she does nothing for 10 episodes. ALL THE EMMYS!
6. Arya decides being a stark is hazardous to her health, so she gets a makeover complementary of Revlon.
7. Stannis and Davos get drunk and do bro things together, pranking everyone at the Wall.
8. Balon finally dies of old age waiting for David and Dan to kill him.
9. Lady….wait for it……………just kidding. SHE IS NOT HAPPENING GUYS.
10. Tyrion reenacts the scene from the Hobbit where the dwarves hide in the barrels
11. David and Dan introduces Victarion Greyjoy, a cross dressing pirate with a love of poetry and beautiful dresses.
12.Instead of a strong, female character, we get another brothel scene. Thanks David and Dan!
13.Cersei has an existential crisis after her wine bearer asks her “Would you like Red or White Wine my Lady?”
14.”I have to hand it to you Ser Jaime, you really have a handle on this situation!” Doran Martell making all the snide hand jokes.
15. We find out the Great Other is Haviland Tuf.
BY @MOTELSONTHEMOON

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1. Sansa loses her virginity.

2. Jon Snow is made Lord Commander. Obvi.

3. Hound lives.

4. Balon dies.

5. Varamyr 6 Skins has a big scene

6. We find out why the white walkers are making white walker babies

7. Areo faces off with Jaime

8.Aemon and Sam set sail.

9. Arya goes b****

10. Hizdahr has a pretty hot man-sex scene

11. Missandei has a pretty hot man-sex scene … and a pretty hot woman-sex scene

12. Myrcella kisses Trystane in an epicly boring scene

13. High Sparrow waxes poetic with long monologue and creates his army

14. Season ends with Arya losing her face

15. D&D skip the Griff storyline, stupidly.

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2015 is upon us. With it, brings Season 5 of ‘Game of Thrones’. Looking forward, here are some of my predictions of what is to come.

  1. Winter is Coming.

Westeros is getting colder. The snows are getting heavier. And, with them, a storm is coming. We’ve seen an awful lot of the Others in the past few seasons. One of my pet theories is that we are on the brink of the second War for the Dawn. The accidental reveal of the Night’s King in the last season just solidified this. Going forward, the Others will want to be kept in the viewer’s mind as much as is possible. So, we’re hopefully going to see a lot more of them, and their home far beyond the Wall.

  1. A Thousand Eyes and One

There has been a lot of controversy that Bran is not going to be in Season 5. But I don’t think it’s going to be as simple as that. The new promos have shown ‘the Sight’. Why would they include a storyline that isn’t in the show this season? My prediction is that Bran WILL be in this season. Just not as we know it. Bran is going to be our eyes into the past. Another of my theories is that Bloodraven sees through the eyes of the ravens. Ever noticed that we see the ravens going a little crazy when the Others are around? We are going to have ‘the sight’ because Bran has it.

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Shelna

Lady Shelly’s predictions for Season 5:

1) Arya is going to invent a hand cream that can mask the smell of clams, cockles and oysters.

2) Jaime is going to develop severe acid reflux from eating so much spicy Dornish food. Sugar skulls will not be served.

3) Cersei will decide that long flowing locks are overrated and opt for a more Mia Farrow-esque haircut.

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1. The Hound will be revealed to be alive, confirming the “Gravedigger Theory”. However, he won’t be a gravedigger. He’ll be a beekeeper or a shepherd or something stupid like that.

2. Roose Bolton will be revealed to be a skin-wearing vampire-like being. He will sparkle when exposed to sunlight without his protective skin.

3. Gendry’s rowboat will be intercepted and captured by Victarion Greyjoy. Gendry and Victarion will become lovers.

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After watching the movie, “TROY” and being stunned at the obliteration of the great work, “The Illiad,” I was pleased to see that the Chief Sinner when it comes to the sacred texts of GRRM, A Mr. Benioff was the author of the film.
With such a record of wandering from core truths, it is incumbent upon me to reason what Mr. Benioff  will do in Season 5 of, “Game of Thrones. “
Here are fifteen changes likely for 2015.
1. Ghost of Eddard Stark will appear in one in Jon Snow’s dreams. That is how Jon will learn of who his real parents are. Sean Bean misses the show and this device will be welcomed by Book Burner audiences.

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As 2014 comes to a close, we reflect on the past year and all it has brought us, the good and bad and

huh? Moments from Game of Thrones and predictions on what’s to come this 5th Season in 2015.

I could make a list of good moments (Joffrey dying, Tyrion telling all of Kings Landing what up, or Arya

and the Hound/ Brianne and Pod, our dynamic duos) or the bad like that alter scene (although that

could also be under a huh moment) and the huh moments SPOILER ALERT LSH, Tysha, and who is Locke

again?

I’ll just make some predictions of the season to come.

15) D&D will change something from the books interpretation to the show. (I know, this is obvious)

14) No one will say “You know nothing Jon Snow” because Ygritte is dead. Too harsh?

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UPDATE: Confirmed by Eps 1-4 of Game of Thrones Season 5

We, the leal and faithful book readers, are slowly approaching the abyss that is season 5 of Game of Thrones where uncertainty looms and potential spoilers are ready to take us all unawares. Recently Sophie Turner said in an impromptu interview that she filmed a “traumatic” scene for season 5.

This isn’t exactly new news as Elio Garcia said in an interview with Vulture in January 2014 that he had read some portions of The Winds of Winter which included a “Sansa chapter that’s sure to be controversial.” Naturally, the ASoIaF/GoT universe exploded with curiosity and began to wonder what it was. Would something terrible happen to her? Would she murder Littlefinger or Sweetrobin? And with the filming of season 5 now complete, interest in the controversial Sansa scene has been renewed.

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LAST NIGHT I DECIDED TO TAKE A TRIP TO THE MOVIE THEATER TO SEE EXODUS GOD AND KINGS STARRING BATMAN. UNFORTUNATELY, THE TICKETS WERE ALL SOLD OUT, SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A CHANCE ON A NEW FILM CALLED THE HOBBIT THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES. I DON’T OWN A TELEVISION OR THE INTERNET SO I HAD NOT SEEN ANY TRAILERS FOR IT, BUT ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE THEATER SEEMED REALLY EXCITED. AND WHEN I SAY REALLY EXCITED, WHAT I SHOULD ACTUALLY SAY IS, THEY WERE DRESSED UP IN ALL SORTS OF FANCIFUL FURRY COSTUMES AND MEDIEVAL CLOTHING LIKE IT WAS THE RENAISSANCE FAIRE – I ALWAYS ENJOY THE “REN FAIRE” AS WE CALL IT BACK HOME, AND SO IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD WAY TO SPEND THE EVENING. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE WERE NO TURKEY LEGS, SCOTCH EGGS, OR POTS OF GROG TO BE HAD AT THE THEATER, WHICH DIDN’T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME, SINCE IT SEEMED LIKE THE PERFECT TIME TO BE SELLING THEM, AS I TOLD THE TEENAGE GIRLS BEHIND THE COUNTER.

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ANGRY GOT FANFIC: THE IRON WENCH

Posted: December 18, 2014 in Uncategorized

THE IRON WENCH . . . .

by Servant On Ice   

CHAPTER I
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ROFF: I want to see those canons firing, I want smoke and flame.
JOSE: We are taking on water . . . on the starboard side, we have taken too many hits, we need to break . .
ROFF: No break, fire, fire away . . if we go to the seven hells let us drown on the way . . .
JOSE: I’m not going to any hell . . not today at least . . . . we need to break off . .
Quarter Master Barnes: Shut up both of you, ROFF I need you in the aft, below on the moss deck, I need you to bring powder to the forward guns . . . before they try to .
SHELNITRA: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

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