After watching the movie, “TROY” and being stunned at the obliteration of the great work, “The Illiad,” I was pleased to see that the Chief Sinner when it comes to the sacred texts of GRRM, A Mr. Benioff was the author of the film.
With such a record of wandering from core truths, it is incumbent upon me to reason what Mr. Benioff will do in Season 5 of, “Game of Thrones. “
Here are fifteen changes likely for 2015.
1. Ghost of Eddard Stark will appear in one in Jon Snow’s dreams. That is how Jon will learn of who his real parents are. Sean Bean misses the show and this device will be welcomed by Book Burner audiences.
2. Sansa will be victimized by Ramsay and Reek. This happened to a Priestess of Apollo in, “Troy” and I can see Benioff doing the same on TV. He likes shock and awe.
3. Ramsay will fall in love with Sansa. See above. Sansa and Ramsay will be romantic in Ramsay’s eyes and brutal in ours. Good move by Benioff.
4. Stannis will die in some corny way since D and D hate his character. Can you say, “Banana Peel?”
5. Melisandre and Jon Snow will have sex. Since Actress Carice Van Houten is naked in every episode, she will use her charm to produce a shadow child.
6. The Snow Shadow Child will avenge Sansa and slay Ramsay.
7. Sansa will be freed and meet Jon Show at The Wall.
8. Fat Pink Mast. Yes, Sam and the inbred, unbathed Gilly will produce a sex scene so disgusting, the FCC will punish HBO.
9. Davos will be sent to Dorne and meet Jaime and Bronn. They will spare Davos’ life in turn for Stannis supporting fAEgon.
10. Tyrion will be freed by Dany. That is right, Tyrion will meet Dany after she frees him from the New Ghis circus.
11. Orlando Bloom will appear and say obtuse things that will not advance the plot. Benioff loves using Bloom for this role. Maybe as FAegon?
12. Shireen will have a scene where she discusses dragons with her Uncle Maester Aemon. Shireen loves dragons.
13. The Greyjoys will be in this season. Since the Greyjoys are uglier and more primitive than in the books, Euron will be played by Horatio Sanz and Vic Greyjoy by Cuba Gooding Jr. They are close enough to the book descriptions in Benioff’s mind and who wouldn’t like, “Show me the gold dragons!”
14. Arya will use firearms to do hits for the Faceless Men mob. Arya and her Asian sidekick from.YI TI will be the next Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan. It will be, “Rush Hour” Braavos style.
15. Dany will die after eating poisoned locusts. With no Strong Belwas as a go between, who will spare our Queen? The second revelation of Azor Ahai will end with her death. As old Priam died in his city, so shall Dany die in Mereen.
Maybe Shireen will defeat the Great Other aka The Night’s King?
Good Morrow Everyone.