SEASON 5 JON SNOW PLOT DESTROYED BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION

Posted: January 20, 2015 in ANGERNEWS

ANGRYGOTFAN: IF YOU THINK THERE COULD BE AN ARTICLE LIKE THIS WITHOUT SPOILERS THAN YOU ARE A STUPID IDIOT AND PROBABLY SHOULDNT BE INVOLVED IN A SERIES LIKE THIS TO BEGIN WITH MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET INTO SOME LIGHTER FAIRE LIKE THE LITTLEST ELF OR THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD OR LITTLE HARRY CAKESNIFFING POTTER THEN WE WILL ALL BE A LOT HAPPIER AND I WILL NOT HAVE TO WASTE MY TIME TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW STUPID YOU ARE OK THATS ENOUGH I WILL NOW END THIS SPOILER ALERT FOR STUPID IDIOTS

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Lady Shelly: HBO is releasing a documentary detailing a “Day in the Life” of Game of Thrones for the upcoming Season 5. The documentary airs Feb 8th. There is a trailer available now and it has some brand new footage of Season 5. Some people have been hesistant to believe me when we tell you that Season 5 is going to be fanfiction. Some people have called us such names as “snob”, “elitist” and even the always flattering “book jerk”, but now let’s see what we see…

 

Hidden in the short clip is something of great importance. Something that many people may overlook and it involves Jon Snow. This bears discussion

While watching the clip, you will see a fight scene between Jon Snow and a large man dressed as a wildling. The question is, why is Jon having some epic fight scene? Jon is done fighting. Stannis is already at Castle Black. Who else does he need to fight since Stannis helped crush the wildlings? Look at the wooden fence that the wildlings are running through. Do you know where that fence is? Let’s remember a vision from Melisandre:

“Snowflakes swirled from a dark sky and ashes rose to meet them, the grey and the white whirling around each other as flaming arrows arced above a wooden wall and dead things shambled silent through the cold, beneath a great grey cliff where fires burned inside a hundred caves. Then the wind rose and the white mist came sweeping in, impossibly cold and one by one the fires went out. Afterward only the skulls remained.”

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Wooden wall. Sounds like Hardhome. Why is Jon fighting at Hardhome? We all know that Jon’s empathy for the wildlings is what caused friction between him and members of the Night’s Watch. Is this epic battle supposed to be between Jon and Bowen Marsh in disguise? Obviously we can’t put it past D&D after the infamous Brienne vs Hound fight last season. Furthermore, what does this scene mean? Is there no “Pink Letter” or any attempt for Jon to go rescue fArya? Or maybe they have done away with that whole storyline and Jon is going to Hardhome to rescue the wildlings instead of worrying about a dying girl on a grey horse – which basically can’t happen anyways since D&D decided to make the Thenns cannibals so surely Jon wouldn’t allow poor Alys to marry a cannibal. Is he fighting Tormund? Why would he be fighting Tormund? None of this makes any sense? Can anyone…understand?

ANGRYGOTFAN: NO ONE UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY WOULD THEY RUIN THE NIGHTS WATCH STORY LIKE THIS??? ITS A SIMPLE PLOT!!! THE PEOPLE OF HARDHOME ARE ALL A-MASSING UP COS MOTHER MOLE TOLD EM TO BUT THEN MEL SPICE HAS HER WACKY DREAM AND JON HAS HIS FIRST OF SEVERAL DISASTEROUS COMMAND DECISIONS, TO SEND 11 SHIPS TO HELP THEM WHEN ITS A TERRIBLE TIME ON THE SEAS, AND ONLY 6 ARRIVE!!!

GETTTING PEOPLE KILLIFIED IS WHAT MAKE THE MEN OF THE NIGHTS WATCH NOT TRUST JON SNOW!! WHAT IS IT WITH THOSE STARKS AND THEIR DECISION ABILITIES?!?! MUST RUN IN THE BLOOD! HMMM JON ALSO SEEMS TO FAVOR ACTION, ADVANCING, ATTACK! MUST RUN IN THE OTHER HALF OF HIS BLOOD (BUT THATS FOR ANOTHER ARTICLE)

PLUS WHY IS IT SO SMALL?!?!?!? THAT LITTLE VILLAGE CANT FIT THOUSANDS OF WILDLINGS!!!! THATS LIKE ONE FARM!!!!! IT NEEDS TO BE MUCH LARGER!!!! WHERE ARE THE CLIFF CAVES HBO?!?!!? WHERE ARE THE CLIFF CAVES?!?!?!!?

IF HARDHOME IS SMALL IT DOESNT POSE A THREAT TO THE WATCH AND IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY POINTLESS TO THE PLOT!!!!!! NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!

THE POINT IS IT LOOKS LIKE THE STUPIDFOOLS AT HBO HAVE CONSOLIDATED JONS DEFEAT AT HARDHOME IN WITH HIS ATTEMPTED RAID ON WINTERFELL AND IN THE PROCESS HAVE COMPLETELY DESTROYED ANY SEMBLANCE OF CONNECTION OR INTERNAL LOGIC FOR THE ENTIRE NIGHTS WATCH STORYLINE!!!!!!!!!

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WHY WOULD THE WATCH MISTRUST JON IF HE HADNT FAILED?!?!?!?!?

WHY WOULD THE WILDLINGS BE FIGHTING JON AT HARDHOME?!?!!?!

TORMUND?!?!?!?

THIS SHOW IS FANFICTION AND SHODDY 50 SHADES OF GREY TYPE FANFICTION AT THAT!!!!!

WHO DO I NEED TO KILL TO FIX THIS?!!?!?!?!?!?

HAND ME THE BRAIN MALLET I NEED TO UNTHINK THE LAST THREE HOURS OF TODAY
NO ONE UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDS!!!!

#NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS

~~~~~~~~~~~

CHECK OUT ANGERTRAX BY ANGRYGOTFAN!

EXPERIENCE SEASON 1 OF GAME OF THRONES LIKE  NEVER BEFORE!!!

https://angrygotfan.com/2014/11/24/angertrax/

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Comments
  1. Matthew says:

    Looking at that gif of the fighting, all I can see is Jon on Strictly Come Dancing trying to teach Tormund the salsa, and Tormund constantly messing it up.

    “Goddamnit Tormund*, it’s step then twist not twist and fall!”
    “I fucked a bear har har har.”
    “Tormund, take this seriously or I will replace you with someone else.”
    “No need Lord Snow, I quit!”
    “You’re a terrible dancer, I’m replacing you with Bowen Marsh. He has the prowess, and he won’t stab me in the back like you!**”

    *I know that it is unlikely to be Tormund in the gif
    **Bowen might stab him in the front, I can’t remember. There’a a lot of daggers

  2. Adri says:

    Interesting. Very good article. It certainly is Hardhome.

  3. The drowned fool says:

    https://meereeneseblot.wordpress.com/2013/10/14/other-wars-part-i-jons-noble-heart-and-greater-duty/

    It’s not the wildling-friendly Jon that makes “for the watch!”. (although Bowen marsh certainly doesn’t like the willings). It’s the meddling in the realm, and insisting on supporting Stannis!

  4. Hardhome is a town not a village!!!!

  5. Mittmutta says:

    This can be played just like Castor’s Keep in the last season. John can have poor decisions in the first third of the season, lead a disastrous misadventure to Hardhome, come back to the Wall, get the pink letter, then join the Caesar Club. I don’t see how this change would really mean much in the long run.

  6. oprahnoodlemantra says:

    1) You haven’t seen season 5 yet.

    2) If you don’t like it don’t watch it.

    3) Adaptations need to take liberties. Not everything can work on screen like it does in the books.

  7. Erick Carr says:

    Angry GoT Fan = 15 year old virgin? Makes sense.

  8. Deepsouth says:

    The irony is that scene was the best part of Season five GoT. Yep. Even though it means absolutely shit in the end….. What a horrible season… The worst season so far…

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