THE SACKING – A POEM OF CONFUSION
By Servant On Ice
A Poem of Humor
19 August 2015 A.D.
It is the early morning and the light of darkness has faded away,
He awoke to the reality of victory today,
Looking for his enemies to slay,
He started his day off, to the Seven he did pray.
O’Seven, I pray for strength and victory,
I am ready to stop The Book Burners Insanity,
Here on the Potomac, Benioff and Weiss do think,
Praying to their gods of nothing, that I would sink
But I will sail on and to them I take the fight,
There will be no more SHOW after tonight,
For this rage of war did they insight,
By tossing away GRRM’s truths like a winded kite!
He then returned to his cabin expediently,
And took the Dusky Lady Vigorously,
He then wondered about the dragon horn curiously,
And if it didn’t work he would react furiously!!!
He summoned for ICE Qorro a fat black man with a goatee,
And said to him, “This dragon horn must work better than a plastic floatie!”
Because he had questions, he found those to blow the horn in battle,
The three men walked down and with a shout and a rattle,
The three blowers were all singers known for their voice,
ICE Qorro recommended them, they were his choice,
They Lord of Anger reluctantly did approve in the end,
He really didn’t know if he could trust his friend.
So the first blower was a man named Adam Levine
He kept jumping around and made gestures obscene,
High my name is Smith known as Will,
The UFOs brought me here from the other side of Capital Hill,
High my name is Common but I am not too Common you know,
I can rap and sing, but can’t dance, I am ready to blow!!!!!!!!!!!
So they were told to blow the horn when the dragons did appear,
The horns sounded to battle! The attack is near!
On the ships they fought with the mindless hoard who watches only THE SHOW,
Then came the Dragons, coming in hot and low!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daenerys appeared and said, “I am KHALEEESSSSSSSSSSSIIII!!”
Then let out a fart that got caught in the breezy,
She was riding Drogon and he was pissed off,
He found out that at the market, Chicken wasn’t 50% off!!
The battle was intense as the dragons came in a flew,
Then Mayor Baelish from Baltimore arrived and hilarity did ensue.
Chris, Snoop and Marlo where with him,
And they manned Scorpions, styled red with brown trim.
They fired long bolts up at the dragons and did miss,
Then Rheagol let out a nasty hiss!
Nope, they’re all wet it was dragon piss!
Marlo shouted, “My name, my name, these corners are mine!”
And fired a bolt right for Rheagol’s behind,
It hit Rheagol so hard he crashed on the national mall,
Good thing the reflection pool slowed his fall.
Then the horn blowers’ blew,
Adam Levine blew and his body turned to ash,
Common blew and did just as fast,
Will Smith then got the horn and said this chant,
“Be gone you dragons, you burned up a Dianetics plant!”
Will then took the horn and smashed it into pieces,
It was now a useless a sack full of wet feces.
A shock came as Daenerys fell of Drogon,
She said, “Who did that? I want them gone!”
Then came Michelle Obama in a Station Wagon
She shouted, “Move over blondie, this is my dragon!”
FLOTUS Obama got on Drogon and sped away,
And Said, “Forget Hillary, I announce my candidacy today!”
Daenerys arose and shouted, “COME BACK WITH MY DRAGGONNNNNNN!”
Even Dany wouldn’t drive a station wagon.
Snoop and Chris kept firing bolts from the scorpions as Marlo took a nap,
Snoop said, “This poem is as whack as a Kanye West rap.”
The battle waged on as the lord of Anger tossed Smith into the river.
“You cost us the battle, may you forever eat liver!”
The Lord of Anger turned to ICE Qorro and said,
“You better make this right or you are dead.”
ICE Qorro responded, “No don’t get mad at me,
I think I see a champion, a knight, it’s Lady Angie!”
Angie the Undertaker came in on horse and wearing chain mail,
“You men always screw up, we women never fail!”
She then got of her horse and fought her way to Rheagol in pain,
“Come on we’re outta here, this battle is insane.”
Angie and Rheagol flew off in the sky,
And Mayor Little finger of Baltimore gave out a cry
“When you walk through the garden, you better watch your back!”
Then Omar appeared and gave him a smack,
“What is going on here, the DMVA is under attack by flying lizards
And you didn’t handle it, now go buy me a DQ Blizzard.”
Mayor Baelish left to find a DQ,
He had to walk and ruined one shoe.
Then came Benioff and Weiss they came for the big show,
“This Army of Anger sucks, as much as our writing you know.”
The Lord of Anger raged, “No one understands!!!!!”
Then he got hit upside the head with a frying pan.
ICE Qorro had disappeared, he ran off with glee,
“I am heading to Four Corners Pub with this hotties from Yi Ti.”
The Lord of Anger shouted, “Traitor!”
ICE Qorro responded, “See y’all later.”
The Lord alone, the battle almost lost,
But then they realized, “We are the Boss!”
They made their way to Benioff and then cut down Weiss,
Lord Angry cleaved him in half, with one quick slice.
Then Benioff clubbed him with a Keyboard,
He was knocked out cold, good thing he didn’t have a sword.
“This is it, let this be our final battle.”
From Benioff’s mouth did this rattle.
They fought bravely, they fought until the light of day was dim,
Then he appeared, yes it was him,
The man with a white beard, covered in pasta salad it was GRRM!
“What manner of foolishness is this?” His head shook,
“I am a fan of the show and author of the books!”
He gave them all a stern look.
The battle ceased and folks all went home,
The Lord of Anger, called GRRM on the phone,
He told GRRM, “I love the books, and the show has ruined them man.”
GRRM told him with a loving voice, “IIIIIIIII UNDERRRRRRSTANNNNNNNNDD!”
“But violence is not the way, conflict I do hate.
Now leave me alone as I write more about puppygate!”
Where did Angie go? Where did she fly?
Down below, up among the clouds high?
There she saw them, in their sin, and shame,
She knew them by face and their name,
She tore down on them in Rheagol with Flame,
She burned them to ashes, only a plastic butt remained,
So that was the end of House Kardashian of Hollywood,
Angie and Rheagol did the world some moral good,
Ridding us of their filth and triviality,
Angie and Rheagol flew west out over the sea,
No one knows what became of them, but I heard someone bragging,
Named Your Lord Tywin, that he was dating a woman and her dragon.
As for FLOTUS Obama and Drogon please take heart,
They both won the DNC nomination, as no one could tell them apart.