ANGER REVIEW – S5E2 THE HOUSE OF LACK AND SPITE

Posted: April 21, 2015 in ANGERCAST REVIEWS

AngryLollys

ANOTHER WEEK

ANOTHER WEAK

EPISODE THAT IS!!!!!!!!

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLANATE TO ME WHAT EXACLTY THE LAWS ARE IN THIS WORLD THERE MUST BE SOMETHING D&D ARE GUILTY OF WHY HAVENT WE CHARGED THEM YET??? HOW CAN THIS GO ON!?!??! THIS IS ILLEGAL LECHERY AT ITS NTH!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW AN UNDETAILED ANALSIS OF WHAT EXACTLY THEY CAREFULLY CHOSE TO RUIN FOR US THIS TIME:

ARYA

EVERYTHING!!!! HOUSE OF BLACK AND WHITE?! MORE LIKE HOUSE OF SHUT THE DOOR IN YOUR FACE! THEN WE DECIDE TO TURN OUR BACKS ON EVERYTHING WE BELIEVE HOUSE!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD A FACELESS MAN USE THE SAME FACE!?!?!?!?!? THEYRE FACELESS MEN!!!! FACE!!! LESS!!!! THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS IS A DISGUISE A
SUBTERFUGE A RUSE A DECEPTION A GUILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I GUESS NOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!! LETS JUST RUIN THE ENTIRE PURPOSE AND MEANING OF THE MOST ELITE ELUSIVE AND AMAZING GROUPS OF PEOPLE IN THE SERIES AND DISGRACE IT ALL SO THE AUDIENCE GETS TO SEE SOME TWO-BIT GERMAN ACTOR YOU MAY REMEMBER FROM THE UBERLEBENSTRAINING EPISODE OF DER IETZTE BULLE?!?!?!?! WHY ARE HIS HANDS BLACK WHEN HIS FACE IS BLACK?!?!? AND THEY GOT RID OF AN ACTOR OF COLOR WHEN WE FIND OUT HES ACTUALLY THE WHITE GERMAN GUY UNDERNEATH!!!! IS HE (LITERALLY) A SKINCHANGER NOW TOO?!?!!? WHY DO THEY NOT MAKE ANY SENSES!!!!!

THE NORTH

EVERYTHING!!! GILLY AND SAM ARE UPSTAIRS ARGUING IN A ROOM INSTEAD OF GOING OFF ON AN AMAZING
ADVENTURE!?!!? ISNT THIS THE SHOW THAT KEEPS TELLING US “SOME STUFF DOESNT WORK ON SCREEN?!?!?!” OPEN WATER?! THE MYSTERIES OF STUDING AT THE CITADEL?!!?!? FORMING A CHAIN!?!?!? RACING OFF WITH MARWYN THE MAGE TO DISCOVER THE SECRET SCIENCES OF MAGIC?!?!?! WOULDNT THAT WORK ON SCREEN HAVE YOU SEEN BLACK SAILS HAVE YOU ARE WE GOING TO GET EVEN A PEEK OF THAT?!?!!? NO!!!!!!! WE GET SHIREEN TEACHING GILLY HOW TO S!!!!!!!!! OH AND LOOK!!!! THEYRE CUTTING EVEN MORE CHARACTERS OF COLOR!!! QUHURU MO AND KOJJA MO?!?!? SORRY!!! GUESS ITS OFF TO THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR WITH YOU JUST LIKE CHATAYA ALAYAYA JALABHAR XHO PRINCE OF THE RED FLOWER VALE (WHO IS IN ALL OF THE BOOKS!!!!) BILL BONE XOBAR QHOQUA CHATANA QO XANDA QO TAL TORAQ MALTHAR XAQ AND XHONDO!!!!!!! WHERE IS XHONDO!!!!!! DO NOT EVEN SPEAK TO ME OF MOQORRO AT THIS POINT I CANT EVEN

AND THEN STANNIS AND JON?!?!!? I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW WRONG THEY ARE WITH STANNIS THIS SEASONHERE IS STANNIS IN THE BOOKS ON MANCE: “I have spent hours speaking with the man. He knows much
and more of our true enemy, and there is cunning in him, I’ll grant you. Even if he were to renounce
his kingship, though, the man remains an oathbreaker. Suffer one deserter to live, and you encourage
others to desert. No. Laws should be made of iron, not of pudding. Mance Rayder’s life is forfeit by
every law of the Seven Kingdoms”

TALK TO HIM FOR INTELLIGENCE VALUE? CHECK
WHY EXECUTE? OATHBREAKING DESERTING
DO WE BURN PEOPLE ON A WHIM? NOPE – LAWS MADE OF IRON #IRONLAWS

STANNIS DOES NOT BURN PEOPLE FOR “TREASON” OR FOR REFUSING DEALS WITH HIM!!!! DANY DOES THAT!!!! JUST ASK KRAZNYS!!!! ALSO IN THE BOOKS WHEN THE RANGERS TAKE AIM TO SHOOT MANCE (NOT JON) STANNIS COULD EASILY HAVE STOPPED THEM HE WOULD HAVE SEEN THEM PREPARING AND SEEN JON ABOUT TO GIVE THEM ORDERS HES NOT A STUPID IDIOT LIKE THE WRITERS OF THIS SHOW HES A KING AND AN ACCOMPLISHED BATTLE COMMANDER!!!! YES HE SCOWLS BC IT MAKES HIM UNHAPPY BUT THAT IS ALL!! INSTEAD THE TRUE KING STANNIS USES THE OPPORTUNITY TO BRING THE WILDLINGS TO HIS CAUSE THROUGH A SHOW OF FORCE AND A SPEECH TO THEM NOT ACTING LIKE A DERANGED LUNATIC!!!!

THEN WHEN HE TALKS TO JON HE DOESNT HAVE SOME BATTY EMOTIONAL FLIPOUT ON HIM HE STAYS ON POINT KEEPS WHATEVER EMOTIONS HE HAS IN CHECK AND FOCUSES ON WHAT JON CAN DO BEST FOR HIM – BRINGING THE NORTHERN LORDS TO HIS SIDE BY BECOMING LORD STARK!!!! SIDE NOTE DIDNT TV STANNIS SAY LAST WEEK HE DOESNT WANT THE NORTHERN LORDS?!?!? NOW HE DOES?!?!?! WHY CANT THEY EVEN KEEP CONSISTENCY WITH THEIR OWN WRITING!!!!!!!!?!???1!

DAENERYS

THEN IM GOING TO JUMP A MOMENT HERE TO DAENERYS BC THIS POINT HAS BEEN MADE OVER AND OVER AND OVER IN THE ANALYSIS OF THIS EPISODE FROM OTHER REVIEWERS WHO I READ SO I CAN REVIEW THE REVIEWERS AND MAKE SURE WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING MAKES ANY SENSE AT ALL AND IT DOESNT!!!!

THE SHOW IS CLEARLY CLEARLY CLEARLY DOING EVERYTHING IN ITS POWER TO MANIPULATE VIEWERS INTO HATING STANNIS AND LOVING DAENERYS!!!!!! DONT FALL FOR IT!!!!!!!

ALL OF THIS WHO WE EXECUTE AND WHO WE DONT AND WHO GETS A TRIAL AND WHO DOESNT???? THIS IS UTTER IDIOCY LUNACY AND FALLACY OF THE HIGHEST UNACCORD!!!!

HERES WHAT THE SHOW WANTS YOU TO SEE – DAENERYS IS WILLING TO PUT AN ACCUSED ON TRIAL BUT STANNIS JUST BURNS PEOPLE FOR NO REASON WHEN THE TRUTH IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE!!!!!!!!!!! THEY ARE LYING TO YOU AND REMEMBER FAM IT TAKES TWO TO LIE ONE TO LIE AND ONE TO LISTEN!!!!!!!!!

ser-barristan-selmy
YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT THIS ALL TAKES PLACE WITHIN THE WORLD OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS (WHERE BARRISTAN AND DAENERYS COME FROM) AND NOT WITHIN 2015 THE 21ST CENTURY WESTERN WORLD!!!!!! IN THEIR WORLD TRIALS ARE HELD FOR HIGHBORN AND HIGHBORN ALONE! THIS IS A RIGHT THAT DOES NOT EXTEND TO LOWBORN OR SMALLFOLK – THAT IS ONE OF THE MANY REASONS KNIGHTHOOD AND LORDSHIPS ARE SO SOUGHT AFTER BC THEY ARE AFFORDED CONSIDERABLY MORE RIGHTS AND PERMITS!!!!! BARRISTAN WOULD HAVE NO REASON SAY THE HARPY BOY DESERVED A TRIAL BC THATS COMPLETELY UNHEARD OF IN HIS WORLD – INSTEAD HE MAY HAVE WANTED A TRIAL FOR THE UNDERSTANDING THAT DIMWIT DAENERYS WAS ABOUT TO LOSE HER CONTROL OF THE CITY DUE TO MASSIVE UNAPPROVAL BY THE PEOPLE AND COMPLETE MISUNDERSTANDING OF WHAT HER ROLE IS!!! AND THEN SHE BLOWS IT!!! HEY WAITAMINUE…WHATS ALL THIS I AM A QUEEN STUFF???
tumblr_ngqpqxSMjV1s01t2fo1_500

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO NOT A QUEEN A KHALEESI!?!?!?!?!

AND O BTW KILL THE MASTERS IN ENGLISH IN MEEREEN…PROOF THEY ARE JUST TROLLING AT THIS POINT AND ALL THE BOOTLICKING SHOW APOLOGISTS ARE EATING IT UP

TYRION

EVERYTHING!!!! THAT GOODNESS WE GOT RID OF THAT BORING JON CONNINGTON LGBTQI CHARACTER AND HIS SON YOUNG GRIFF (AKA AEGON IV TARGARYEN WHO IN THE BOOOOOKS HAS CONQUERED THE STEPSTONES AND GRYFFENS ROOST AND STORMS END) THEYRE ARENT IMPORTANT? YOU KNOW WHAT IS!?!?!? BOX JOKES!!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYY BOX JOKES!!! BOX JOKE FOR ME BOX JOKE FOR YOU BOX JOKE FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!! TYRION AND VARYS ARE NOT BRIAN AND STEWIE!!!!!!

AGAIN WE ARE CONSTANTLY TOLD SOME THINGS DONT WORK ON TV SO UMMMMM OK YOU CANT EVEN SHOW THE AMAZING SCENERY OF ESSOS INSTEAD WE GET AN HOUR OF TWO GUYS RIDING IN THE BACK OF A WAGON??!?!? IT LOOKED SO BAD SO BASIC SO NETWORK TV CHEAPERY I THOUGHT FOR A SECOND I WAS WATCHING YOUNG HERCULES STARRING RYAN GOOSLING ON THE FOX KIDS NETWORK AND IT WAS 1998 ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!

BRIENNE/SANSA/LITTLEFINGER
WeddingDrama
*#()&%)(*#&@^%#&*()%^#*()&$)%*(@%&()^@#)$&*@#WHY!IS!HER!HAIR!EVEN!DYED$^(@#&*$^@#)%&*@#^)$&*@#^)$&& AND THEY SET IT IN AN INN WHERE EVERYONE IS EATING?!?! BENIOFF AND WEISS YOU ARE NOT TARANTINO…DO NOT ATTEMPT TARANTINO

DORNE

ALL I AM GOING TO SAY HERE IS…THEY HAD 10 YEARS TO GET DORNE RIGHT…AND THATS WHAT WE GOT…INSTEAD OF THE EGALITARIAN WONDERTAINMENT OF A RADIANT CULTURE WITH DIFFERENT WAYS OF THINKING AND DIFFERENT LAWS AND DIFFERENT VALUES…WE GET A CRAZED MADWOMAN WHO SERIOUSLY DISCUSSES MUTILATING AN INNOCENT GIRL HER FAMILY SWORE TO THE KING THEY WOULD PROTECT

RANDOM THOUGHTS

JAIME IN DORNE

IS THE DUMBEST THING IVE EVER HEARD SINCE I HEARD THE WORD DUMB READ MORE HERE
DROGON SMILING AT HIS MOMMY!??!!? WHAT DOES HE THINK HE IS TOOTHLESS WITH HICCUP?!!?!? THE HEIR TO THE TITLE THE BLACK DREAD DOS NOT SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE JUMPING THE SHARK MOMENT OF GAME OF THRONES – SMILING THE DRAGON

drogon1-630x306SER ARYS OAKHEART #NEVERFORGET

ARYS

#NOONEUNDERSTAAANDS

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Comments
  1. The Loon says:

    you’re really going to hate episodes 3 and 4

  2. ASIOF says:

    What a damn tedious waste of time

  3. BUM says:

    No argument here! D & D admitted that they never understood the appeal of Stannis to us book readers. They did right by getting Stephan Dillane, then gave him a lousy script and terrible supporting characters, minus Davos, who they got right. (He lost 4 sons in the war too, and one is still alive!) I agree that they want us to love Dany the Dumb and loathe Stannis.

    I too, was horrified at what they did to Dorne. Good: They got another good actor to play Prince Doran–Alexander Siddig. Ah, but doesn’t he have gout? That is why he sits. He is also a very patient man with a long view of details. And where is his daughter, the true heir to the throne who uttered the words that ring of Ellyria’s horrible words that the Red Viper would deny to his grave. Who gives a damn what she thinks? She is not the heir to the throne: she is a common law wife. So we are stuck with a pretty boy for an heir, 2 missing older siblings and the who gives a damn Sand Snakes.

    And don’t get me started on how they are consciously and meticulously ruining Jaime. I’m saving that one.

  4. BUM says:

    I’m also talking about how they portray Stannis’s supporting characters, not them themselves. I think they got the wife right. But I’m disappointed with everyone else–yes, that means you, Red Woman.

  5. ServantOnIce says:

    7/10

    LIKES

    Sansa and Brienne
    The Mereenese Knot
    Lord Snow
    Lollys and Bronn
    Ser Jaime
    Areo Hotah
    Maester Aemon

    DISLIKES

    Brienne and Pod’s fight was full of errors and just comedic.

    The House of Black and White seemed campy

    Cersei and Jaime

    Cersei overall just didn’t seem like Lena Headey was comfortable acting a role she’s played for five years, bad job by her.

  6. What the hell happened here? says:

    I agree with all of it except one:

    Stannis does indeed give traitors to the fire. He burned his former hand, that Florent for striking a back door deal with the crown. There are night fires that often feature these “traitors” often. R’Hollor needs to eat. So you can be slightly less angry about that bit.

    I think the most angry I’ve ever been, even worse than the exclusion of Lady Stoneheart was the death of Barristan Selmy. He’s a damn POV character in book 6! Even if it’s for two or three chapters it’s still ducked up to kill him when they did. I was so horrified.

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