Season 5 and The Idiocy of Hardhome

Posted: June 6, 2015 in Uncategorized

By Lady Kaitlyn 



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Hardhome. The episode that saved the season. The redemption. The intensity. The revitalization. The realization… that epic undead battles are the world’s secret joy? Because to me That scene was just another rush of blood on Game of Thrones’s way to bleeding out. Or proof that no one feels the need to think beyond the superficial. And I don’t mean, Arya as in no one, I mean the producers of HBO. Because as soon as you try to seriously think about any of this, the ugly truth comes out. It makes no sense.

For today, let’s just look at the North. We have a few story lines. One is our dearest Sansa Stark. Our little dove, who witnessed her father die in front of her, has repeatedly had her dreams crushed, has had her aunt try to kill her, watched her aunt be killed, was married to a “monster”, wanted to be married to someone to find out he was a monster and is now married to a different monster…and gives that monster attitude. This doesn’t seem like a great survival strategy to me. But I also don’t understand how such a crushed human would entertain thoughts of revenge. Hasn’t she seen how her escape, her revenge, her dreams get trampled? But she gives this sadistic monster sass. I must need to take more psychology classes. Perhaps, it’s because she is receiving less abuse than she received in Kings Landing. Ramsey can’t risk losing his hold on the North, as I’m sure his daddy dearest would have reminded him. Then again, Ramsey has been portrayed as a complete sadist. Which, lets not forget, sadists find sexual gratification, in causing others pain. And I tend to doubt sadists are those good at holding back from their own sexual gratification. So it doesn’t make sense that Ramsey is “going easy” on Sansa. Can you start hooking up with someone and just suddenly stop? Good luck with that. But somehow, little dove decides to humiliate Ramsay. Okay. Sure.

In other news, the producers of HBO have discovered light-speed travel and are refusing to share the secret. Kingsroad? So last year. Now Baelish can magically appear in King’s Landing, no problem.  I simply don’t think its feasible that  there are a couple of months in between each episode. But if you don’t think HBO is hording light-speed travel, I guess we can go with that explanation.

Stannis. Seems like a pretty straight-forward guy. Justice, fairness, burning people. But he can’t make up his mind on those wildlings. He wants them in his army, then he decides to march away. With his wife and sole daughter. You know, the sole daughter that happens to be the only one who could continue his line as King? The person who would make the next succession possible? But, let’s put her in the middle of a warpath/snowdrift (the size of the North). And to get rid of those snows, burn baby burn, because who needs an heir.

And that brings us to the very far north. That gigantic wall thing, where we never fail to see a dashing Kit Harington run around. And I mean, if he’s pretty, what do his leadership skills matter? And we get so lost in his tumbling curls, we forget about that gigantic wall thing. And the thing behind it. Or, things. Dead things. Dead things in forest, dead things in the water. Thankfully, our last episode has brought that back to the front. Winter is coming. The “white walkers” are coming. You’d think more important things, than say, the politics of Westeros. But true to the show’s name, “Game of Thrones”, the politics are the most important thing. And to be fair, Jon is always mentioning those wights. Somewhere in between a naked Melisandre and a rejected little kid, who is clearly going to stab Jon in the back. Who cares about the song of ice and fire when we have stripping priests and revengeful kids? Better yet, there’s whorehouses and stripping Sand Snakes in the south! But speaking of that pesky song, what was the deal with that Azor Azai guy mentioned way back when at Dragonstone with Stannis? Haven’t heard about him recently. Or any glowing swords. Must not be important. Back to the gay sex scandal of Loras.

If we decide to ignore the fact that the show likes to ignore the pressing issue in the North, and just consider that nice little Hardhome scene, well a lot more show-viewers are happy. And I suppose that happens when each year passing by wipes away your memory of the season past. Because agile, skeleton wights? Fought with arrows and swords? Only a burning cabin to be found? Seems to contradict half the wight portrayals we’ve seen, but then again, it agrees with the other half…(Don’t think too hard, or the Others might come steal your soul). Speaking of those epic, meme spawning White Walkers, well, I suppose an argument can be made that cold kills fire. So ice-creatures can walk through fire. That could work. I mean, it has to be really, really cold for ice to kill fire..like Jon Snow should have gotten at least some frostbite from his proximity to the White Walker during the fight. But hey, would a few missing fingers detract from his tumbling locks? And, who cares if we directly contradict what we know? I mean, sure, we’ve seen that ice and fire are incompatible in this story- the Other’s sword making a screeching sound when it went through fire and the passage Sam found, factually stating that fire will dismay them. But, logic is unnecessary.

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I bet that Other simply though a fire framed entrance was so i-can’t-even epic, that he should just risk the heat. Don’t you always have the irresistible urge to walk through a burning building for dramatic effect? So understandable. And apparently, these ice-creatures are very understandable, as they also have human expressions of surprise. That was quite interesting and went quite viral. I’m sure the show producers only cared about it being interesting though!

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Comments
  1. 3-13 Archer says:

    I agree with you on most of that (especially considering Sansa), buuut the Others are not actually weak to fire. Wights are weak to fire, but can’t be stopped by dragonglass, while the Others’ only weakness is dragonglass (and, as Thrones did spoil so beautifully, Valyrian/dragonsteel).

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